John Kerry writes back!

Dear Senator Kerry:

I just received your email and I thought I would reply to your thoughtful words.

Dear *** As we move into the final days of this campaign, I am working every hour to reach out to undecided voters and energize our base in battleground states. However, I feel it is important to take a few minutes to write to you.

There is really no way I can adequately thank you for all you have done. You and our entire online community have worked wonders throughout this election. Each day, when Mary Beth updates me on activities around the country, your incredible efforts are always one of the highlights.

>Our efforts HAVE been incredible, thank you! As you know, the response rate to Blowjobs For Kerry was an astounding 100%! As a member of your online community, of course, I felt it was the least I could do to mobilize voters.

You and I began this campaign pledging to meet every challenge and overcome every obstacle on our way to victory on November 2. I leave it to you to judge whether I have lived up to my end of that bargain. But I am sure about this -- you have lived up to yours.

>You know it, man! I really had no idea that so many men shaved their balls--that was a pleasant surprise--however, some of these "swing voters" were really not my cup of tea. But anything for the cause.

As you know, our deadline to fund critical get-out-the-vote operations is tonight at midnight. That is the last point -- just hours away -- at which you can make an online contribution that can be spent by Election Day. Believe me, if I did not think it could make the difference between winning and losing, I would not be turning to you one final time.

>You know, as much as I'd like to give more, I really feel like I've done enough at this point. My lips are numb.

Over the many months of this campaign, we have relied on our millions of grassroots supporters. At every point that we needed help, there was a dedicated group willing to take their turn and act.
Here is what is different about this moment -- this is the final day we will ask for your donations online and the final day your contributions can be used to fund vital get-out-the-vote efforts. Today is no one's turn to rest and everyone's turn to act.

>Yeah, um... but I really need to rest! I took so many turns acting, I lost count!

Let us dig deep and let us carry our values to victory.

>Values? Oh. Right. Shit.
Thank you so much for standing with me. I will never forget what you have done.

John Kerry

>I'll never forget it either, Senator Kerry. And next time you're in town, possibly staying in the area, around the airport, please don't hesitate to give me a shout. Everyone else did.